Regular readers will be well aware of my (some would say uncanny) ability to predict the Xmas no.1. Here is this years. Many of you of course have asked the secret of my predictive skills, but that is a secret which I can never ever reveal, handed down as it was by my great grandmother. Oh ok then, I’ll tell you: What I do is put each of the contenders for the years most fiercely contested chart battle into a bag, and then I do a big shit into the bag. Whichever single has the most shit stuck on it is the winner. It has not failed me yet.